XL Orange Shirts; Otherwise known as, Vendors.

I've decided to blog about the problems, irony, and just plain humor of working a vending cart at a concert.

First of all, I don't think anyone can truly appreciate vending until they've worked a vending cart themselves!

Over the last two summers I have been involved in vending for a local amphitheater as part of a fundraiser for trips to Europe. Yesterday, our group worked a two night concert and it got me thinking. I honestly believe that no one can fully appreciate the job of vending until they've tried it themselves. Let me explain...

Just to start it off right, we vendors get to wear lovely bright orange shirts that for some reason, only come in the size, XL.

After pushing our big carts stocked full of drinks and ice up a huge hill, because it's absolutely necessary that the thoughtful Gorge employees stock the carts at the bottom and not at the top, we vendors set up our drink stands and wait for the crowd.

Now I have a question, Have you ever tried to sell a bottle of water for four dollars? I'm not talking about a jug of water, or one of those high-end 'smart' waters. No, I'm talking about a simple 20 fl oz. Dasani bottle of water.

Or how about a Powerade for $6.50?

Or a Coke for $5.25? Yes that's right, not $5 and not $6. But, just to make it easy for us I'm sure, the price is $5.25.

A thing I've learned working in vending about people is that everyone, and I truly do mean EVERYONE, feels like they need to comment. After a number of rude and unnecessary comments, you get really good at saying things like, "I'm sorry, I don't make the prices," or trying to explain that "it's a good deal because I won't take your cap away." I just now realized the irony of that last comment!

I've also learned that you can't deal with people without dealing with creeps. Especially as a vendor working a cart by myself. Here's a few examples...

I once had a guy who told me that, "We would all, one day, be angels and fly around and be happy." He also asked me if it creeped me out that he could read my thoughts. He eventually left to go find, "my boyfriend." Only then did I doubt his telepathy powers considering that I don't actually have a boyfriend.

This one's a gem...
Old guy walking past: "Hey! Can I adopt you?"
Me: "Ummm"
Old guy walking past: "Cause I would take you home and snuggle with you for forever."
Old guy's old wife: "He means like babysit."

Or, yesterday I had a guy come up to me and sniff my shoulder. No joke. He stood there with his nose against my shoulder, sniffing me. I didn't say anything because I was at a complete loss for words. After contenting himself with the smell of my shoulder he explained, "You know, you should take this as a complement. I'm only messing with you because you're pretty." Hmm... Maybe he should work on his wooing approach.

I've worked about 20 concerts as a vendor and I've learned that stupid people do and say stupid things. My approach in dealing with stupid people, try as hard as possible to make light of every situation.

I should be a Union representative for the vendors of the Gorge Amphitheater. Please refrain from making rude comments while purchasing a drink. Yes, I do accept tips, and enjoy the show.